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About Krakow

Okay, so—erotic-massage, not just rubbin’ and tuggin’, nah. Ancient as fuck, it is—thousands of years old, fact! Egyptians, Greeks, they kneaded flesh like bread, tryna spark somethin’ deep. Chi flows, they said—energy bullshit, but damn, it works! Hands pressin’, oil drippin’, muscles sighin’—fuckin’ magical, I swear. Ever tried it? Shocked, I was—first time, some chick in a dim room, incense burnin’, and I’m like, “This legal?” Ha! Spoiler: mostly is, depends where.

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Outside, it’s a mess. Fire trucks, people everywhere. I’m trying to keep my students calm, but they’re all buzzing with excitement. I mean, I get it. It’s not every day you get evacuated. But I’m also like, “Can we not? I have a schedule!”