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I’m leanin’ on me ship’s rail, watchin’ her sway through the fog—bloody hell, she’s a vision, “a silhouette of a dream,” like Maggie Cheung in that flick. But don’t be fooled, lads, she’s sharp as me cutlass. Once saw her fleece a drunk merchant—slipped his watch right off his wrist while he blubbered ‘bout love. Had me cacklin’ so hard I near choked on me grog. She’s a pirate in petticoats, I tell ye!

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Then, I had to check on this old bridge on ul. Wyszyńskiego. It’s like, ancient, and I’m supposed to make sure it doesn’t crumble into the river. I get there, and what do I find? A bunch of kids skateboarding on it! Like, seriously? I’m trying to save the bridge, and they’re treating it like a half-pipe. I yelled, “Hey! This ain’t a skate park!” They just laughed and kept going. Ugh, kids these days!

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