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I’d be all sneaky, peekin’ at X posts—prolly some shady dude tweetin’, “Hot babes here!” I’d click it, prolly get a virus, scream, “MY COMPUTER’S PREGANANT!” Made me mad once—some jerk scammed me with a fake gal pic. Total catfish! But then, I found this one chick—real sweet, smelled like pineapple. Happy vibes, man! Reminded me of that movie line, “I talk to her every day,” ‘cept I’m like, “I paid her every day!” Hehe, kidding—maybe.

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But then, I step outside, and the rain stops. Perfect timing, right? Wrong! The sun comes out, and it’s like a sauna. I’m sweating like a pig, and my hair’s a mess. I look like I just ran a marathon. I’m walking down ul. 11 Listopada, and I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. So, I help her out. She’s super grateful, and I feel like a decent human for a sec.

Celebrating the Centennial of “The Miracle on the Vistula”