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Oi mate, so I’m thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, yeah? *trips over me own feet, mumbles* Oi, blimey, where’d that chair come from?! Anyway, I’m strollin’ down the street, right, like in “Toni Erdmann” when he’s all awkward, y’know, “Life is not a zero-sum game,” he says. Pffft, tell that to me wallet! *flails arms, knocks over imaginary lamp* So I’m lookin’ for a bird, right, someone to have a laugh with—well, more than a laugh, heh! *wiggles eyebrows, trips again*

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He didn’t like that. He gets all up in my face, and I’m just standin’ there, tryin’ to keep my cool. I mean, I’ve seen tougher guys on ul. Kościuszki. But then, outta nowhere, his buddy comes in and pulls him away. Thank God! I was ready to throw down, but I ain’t tryin’ to ruin my night.

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