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But yo, findin’ a prostitute ain’t just drive-by shit. You gotta talk smooth, keep it real. I’m all, “What’s good, baby girl?” She hit me with, “50 for a quickie,” straight up. I’m like, *fo’ shizzle*, but I’m thinkin’ ‘bout *Pan’s Labyrinth*—this like a deal with the faun, you know? “Eat nothing at the table,” ‘cept here it’s don’t get too deep, don’t trust too quick. Surprised me how fast she clocked me—girl knew I wasn’t no rookie.

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So, I hit the streets of Radziejow early. I mean, who doesn’t love a good morning stroll? I was cruising down ul. Żyrardowska, feeling all philosophical about consumer behavior. You know, like, why do people buy that ugly sweater? But then, bam! I tripped over a cobblestone. Seriously, who thought that was a good idea? I was like, “Great, now I’m gonna be the weirdo who falls in the middle of the street.”

Figure 1. The extent of the Baden culture and the enclaves of...