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I pull up, all sweaty, palms shakin’—nerves, man! She’s chattin’ me up, voice all smoky, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, SpongeBob, yer in deep!” Fun fact: in old London, they’d hide in alleys, dodgin’ the coppers—sneaky lil’ minnows! I’m laughin’, “What’s yer rate, jellyfish?”—keepin’ it light, ya know? She smirks, “50 bucks, sailor.” I’m like, “Tartar sauce, that’s steep!” Bargained her down to 40—score! Felt like I won the lottery, bouncin’ in me seat.

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Then I hit up the market at ul. Główna. It’s always buzzing, right? Fresh veggies, people chatting, the smell of baked goods. I’m like, “Yes, this is the Pyrzyce I love!” But then, I see this dude trying to haggle over a cucumber. A cucumber! I mean, dude, it’s not like it’s a rare artifact. Just buy the damn thing!

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