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Here’s a lil’ factoid—didja know back in the old days, some prostitutes in Paris ran secret codes? Like, a red ribbon meant “I’m free,” but two ribbons? “Bring a buddy!” Wild, huh? I’m over here laughin’, thinkin’ I’d mess that up and bring a sandwich instead. Anyway, I roll up, window down, heart thumpin’—she’s eyein’ me like I’m a damn snack. “What you want, sugar?” she says, all smoky. I’m sweatin’ like a pig in a bacon factory, thinkin’, “Man, this is it!”

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy bumps into me. I spill my drink all over my shirt. I’m fuming! Like, seriously? I’m about to lose it. But then, he’s super apologetic. He buys me a new drink. I’m like, “Okay, maybe you’re not so bad.”