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But yo, findin’ a prostitute ain’t just drive-by shit. You gotta talk smooth, keep it real. I’m all, “What’s good, baby girl?” She hit me with, “50 for a quickie,” straight up. I’m like, *fo’ shizzle*, but I’m thinkin’ ‘bout *Pan’s Labyrinth*—this like a deal with the faun, you know? “Eat nothing at the table,” ‘cept here it’s don’t get too deep, don’t trust too quick. Surprised me how fast she clocked me—girl knew I wasn’t no rookie.

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As the night goes on, we’re playing some games, and I’m feeling good. But then, I get a text from my mom. She’s like, “Did you remember to take out the trash?” I’m like, “Ugh, mom, I’m 30!” But I love her, so I promise I’ll do it tomorrow.

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