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Surprised me, too—didja know sex-dating’s got stats? Like, 40% of couples now meet online! Blew my mind. Thought it was all horny kids, but nah—people findin’ soulmates in this mess. Crazy, right? Still, I’m over here mutterin’, “Billionaires should not exist!”—cos these apps charge ya for “premium”—what, I gotta pay to see who likes me? Screw that!

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After the drama, we’re allowed back in. I sit down, and my computer crashes. Of course! Just my luck. I’m about to lose it. I mean, I’ve got deadlines, people! I start typing like a madman, and my coworker, Kasia, is cracking jokes. She’s like, “You’re gonna break the keyboard!” I’m like, “If only it would type itself!”