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But lemme spill some tea—sex-dating’s messy, man. Once saw a profile, chick said, “No clingers!”—then texted me 50 times, bloody nutter! Made me mad as a hornet, like, “C’mon, love, freedom’s free!” Another time, this bloke—total fox—sent me a pic, but surprise! It’s his mum’s cat, not his junk. Laughed my arse off, pure genius! Little factoid—did ya know sex-dating apps started ‘round 2009? Grindr kicked it off, shaggin’ history right there!

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Then, boom! The fire alarm goes off. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” Everyone’s rushing out, and I’m stuck behind this lady with a huge bag. Like, why do you need a suitcase for a day at the office? I’m losing my mind.