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Findin’ a prostitute? Easy—look for the lies. They’re everywhere—neon signs, fake smiles, “I’m clean” promises. Everybody lies, pal—especially to themselves. Me? I’d rather talk to my OS—less drama, no chlamydia.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I wake up in my tiny flat on ul. Wrocławska, right? The sun’s blaring through my window like it’s trying to roast me alive. I’m like, “Chill, sun! I’m not ready for this.” But whatever, I chug some coffee and head out.