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Alright, so here’s the deal—erotic-massage, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, what’s the big fuss? I mean, it’s hands, it’s oil, it’s… tension! Like in *The Master*, ya know, “Man is not an animal!”—but oh, we kinda are! Pretty, pretty good stuff, if you ask me. I get all fidgety just imaginin’ it—somebody’s rubbin’ ya down, and it’s supposed to be “relaxin’”? Gimme a break! I’d be sittin’ there, twitchin’, thinkin’, “Am I doin’ this right? Am I breathin’ too loud?” Total neurotic meltdown, classic Larry!

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After the drama, we’re allowed back in. I sit down, and my computer crashes. Of course! Just my luck. I’m about to lose it. I mean, I’ve got deadlines, people! I start typing like a madman, and my coworker, Kasia, is cracking jokes. She’s like, “You’re gonna break the keyboard!” I’m like, “If only it would type itself!”