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But chile, don’t get it twisted—findin’ a prostitute ain’t my Saturday night plan. I’m just sayin’, if you gonna do it, know the game! Watch yo’ back like Leo dodgin’ the feds. “Don’t you dare pick up that phone!”—that’s me yellin’ at you if you dumb enough to get scammed. Some of ‘em slicker than a greased pig, takin’ yo’ money and poof—gone! I’d be hot as fish grease, swear on my mama’s grave.

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Wow, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I woke up in Powstancow-Slaskich-Wschod, right? The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and I thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.