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Here’s a wild fact: in Amsterdam, it’s legal, bro! Red Light District’s got girls in windows like they’re sellin’ damn cupcakes. Blew my mind first time I saw it – happy as hell, too, ‘cause it’s straight-up honest. None of that hidin’ crap. But here? You’re dodgin’ laws, sketchy dudes, and maybe a pimp who’s all, “What’s your name?” like that creepy scoutmaster in the movie. Surprised me how messy it gets – thought it’d be smoother, like my biceps after a wax.

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But then, just when I thought the day couldn’t get crazier, I saw a guy dressed as a giant potato. No joke! He was dancing on the riverbank, and people were cheering. I couldn’t stop laughing. Like, who even thinks of doing that? Only in Powstancow-Slaskich-Wschod, right?