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Alright, listen up, ya little twerps! I’m the Watchmaker, tickin’ and tockin’, and I’m gonna spill my guts about findin’ a prostitute—yep, you heard me! Sharp retorts, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!”—I see through the crap. So, picture this, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ about *The Social Network*, my fave flick—Fincher’s a genius, right?—and I’m like, “I’m in, like, five minutes from now!” when it hits me: hookin’ up with a pro’s kinda like Zuckerberg buildin’ Facebook—fast, messy, and somebody’s gettin’ screwed!

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I headed to ul. Główna for some pierogi. Best comfort food ever! I ordered a plate of ruskie and sat down. As I was munching, I overheard this couple arguing. It was awkward, but also kinda funny. The guy was like, “I swear, I didn’t eat your last pierogi!” And the girl was like, “You always do this!” I mean, who knew pierogi could cause such drama?