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Me, I’d be rubbish at the whole game. I’d overthink it—*“Was it good for you?”*—like some twat in a romcom. Prossie’d be like, “Mate, it’s 50 quid, not a bleedin’ Oscar reel!” Reminds me of that line, *“Film it like Hollywood!”*—all fake glamour, innit? The reality’s more fag ends and damp mattresses. Still, there’s a mad charm to it—freedom, chaos, a big “fuck you” to the suits. I’d tip my hat to ‘em, cackle, and sod off home. Find a Prostitute? Nah, I’d rather watch the telly and slag it off!

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So, I’m soaked and annoyed, but I keep walking. I head towards the park by ul. Księcia Józefa. It’s a nice spot, perfect for chilling. I plop down on a bench, trying to shake off the morning’s chaos. Just as I’m about to take a deep breath, I see this old man feeding pigeons. And I’m like, “Aww, that’s sweet.” But then, the pigeons start attacking him! Like, they’re all over him, and he’s flailing his arms. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, it’s like a scene from a comedy movie!

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