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Lemme tell ya, one time, I met this chick—Roxy, real name prolly Susan or somethin’. She’s workin’ the corner, heels high as my standards, and I’m thinkin’, “She’s a damn warrior.” Told me she paid her lil’ brother’s school fees—hustled for *him*. I was shook! Like, slay, girl, you’re the butterfly breakin’ outta that cocoon! But ugh, the danger? Pisses me off—some dude tried her once, and she maced his ass. Laughed so hard I cried.

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After that, I’m back on my lifeguard chair, trying to catch a break. But nooo, the universe had other plans. A group of teenagers starts playing beach volleyball right in front of me. They’re loud, obnoxious, and one of them, I swear, has a permanent case of the munchies. He keeps yelling, “Dude, pass me the chips!” while spiking the ball. I’m like, “Bro, focus on the game, not the snacks!”

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