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So I’m strollin, right, feelin like Richie Tenenbaum, all moody an lost. This one time, I’m hagglin with a tart – she’s askin too much! I’m like, “We shall never surrender… to yer bloody prices!” She laughs, says, “You’re a nutter, love.” Fair play, she was fit, so I caved. Total mug, me. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but it felt like a bleedin epic!

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Man, what a day! Seriously, Ozarów-Mazowiecki, you’ve got me all kinds of twisted. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

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