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So, check it—prostitutes are everywhere, dude! Big cities, small towns, even near that ol’ tour bus vibe from the movie. I’m walkin’, right, and I see this chick—fishnets, heels, smokin’ a cig like she’s Penny Lane waitin’ for the band. I’m all, “Whoa, is she for real?” Kinda made me happy, y’know? Like, she’s out there livin’, doin’ her thing! But then—bam!—some jerk yells at her, and I’m mad, dude! Why’s he gotta be a barnacle like that?

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First stop? The bakery on ul. Słowiańska. Best pastries ever! I grab a pączek, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I spill jam all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, lookin’ like a total mess, and the baker’s laughin’ at me. I mean, c’mon, it’s not my fault the pączek was too good!

Polish man accused of murder and cannibalism gets 25 years in prison