Brianna Osiek Find A Prostitute ❤️

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Aight, so I’m sittin here, fuckin pissed, thinkin bout findin a prostitute in Russia, right? Respect my authoritah! I’m like some badass actuary, crunchin numbers, but I got needs, ya know? This ain’t no boring ass spreadsheet—this is real shit! I love that movie, *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring*, that Kim Ki-duk joint, so deep, man, “What you take, you carry,” he says. Heavy as fuck. Anyway, I’m in Moscow, cold as balls, tryna find a chick who don’t mess around. Prostitution’s illegal here, but c’mon, everyones doin it! Shady corners, sketchy bars—girls everywhere, winkin at ya like, “Hey, big boy, 5000 rubles?”

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First stop? The bakery on ul. Słowiańska. Best pastries ever! I grab a pączek, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I spill jam all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, lookin’ like a total mess, and the baker’s laughin’ at me. I mean, c’mon, it’s not my fault the pączek was too good!

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