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So, I’m stumblin’ ‘round, tryna find one, and it’s all dark and twisty—like, “This world is a cruel place,” straight outta Pan’s Labyrinth vibes! I’d be terrible at it, tho—prolly ask, “Can ya pay ME in sandwiches?” Haha, imagine their faces! “This guy’s nuts!” But I’d be chill, flappin’ my hands, signin’ “Let’s be pals!” ‘cause I’m Patrick, duh!

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I’m walking down ul. Słowiańska, trying to dodge people like I’m in some weird video game. And then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me. I swear, he almost took my briefcase with him! I yell, “Hey, watch it!” but he just laughs. Kids these days, right?

Poles protest abortion ban in churches and on streets