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I’m thinkin’ “A Prophet”—you seen that flick? Jacques Audiard, 2009, my freakin’ favorite! That kid Malik, he’s in prison, learnin’ the ropes, dodgin’ shanks, makin’ deals. Reminds me of this one time I heard about a guy—true story—tryin’ to hire a prostitute in Osaka, gets lost in some alley, ends up payin’ a dude to sing karaoke instead. “You’re too late, man!”—that’s what I’d yell, straight outta the movie. Total mess! I’d be pissed—wastin’ my yen on bad tunes? C’mon!

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So, I set up the speakers, and they sound amazing. I’m feeling like a rockstar. But then, the owner decides to test them out. He starts belting out some old Polish ballad. I’m cringing so hard, I think my face might crack. But the crowd loves it! They’re cheering, and I’m just standing there, thinking, “What have I done to deserve this?”

Heineken's Zywiec buys regional brewer Namyslow