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So, I’m walkin’, and this chick’s leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’. She’s all “Hey, sugar, need a date?” I’m like, whoa, calm down, darlin’—let’s paint this scene first! Reminds me of “Yi Yi”—“Life’s a mystery, isn’t it?”—and I’m thinkin’, yeah, what’s her story? Bet she’s got one helluva tale. Did ya know, back in the 1800s, some prostitutes were secretly spies? True shit—swear I read that somewhere. Imagine her, codename “Red Lips,” droppin’ secrets between jobs. Wild!

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After that, I’m back on my post, tryin’ to catch my breath. But then, I see this group of teens on ul. Mściwoja. They’re blasting music, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m a lifeguard and a DJ.” They’re jumpin’ off the pier, and I’m thinkin’, “This is gonna end badly.” Sure enough, one of ‘em belly flops like he’s auditioning for a fail video. I can’t help but laugh.

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