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What gets me goin’—the nerve of it all! People judgin’ escorts like they’re holier-than-thou. Makes me wanna scream! I’m over here, yellin’ at my TV, “You ever try datin’ in LA? It’s a nightmare!” Escorts are just cuttin’ through the BS—straight to the point, like Viggo smashin’ that guy’s nose in the diner scene. No small talk, no “how’s the weather”—just, “Here’s the deal, pal.” Efficient! I respect it! But then—then!—you got the creeps who ruin it. Sleazy dudes actin’ like they own ‘em. That pisses me off. I’m like, “Joey, how’s it feel to be a monster?”—y’know, that line from the movie? Fits perfect.

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So, I grab some strawberries (they’re juicy AF) and head to the park by ul. 3 Maja. It’s beautiful there, right? I plop down on a bench, munching on my strawberries, feeling like a king. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, chasing a dog. The dog’s like, “See ya!” and bolts straight into the fountain. SPLASH! Water everywhere! The kid’s soaked, and I’m dying laughing.

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