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What pisses me off? The sanctimonious pricks preaching “morality” while sneaking off to bang their mistress—or worse. Hypocrisy’s thicker than the makeup on these girls. Happy? Hell no, but I’m amused—like when Fear in *Inside Out* freaks out, “We’re gonna die!” Yeah, maybe, if you pick the wrong alley. Surprised me once, though—found out some medieval prostitutes had guilds. Guilds! Like, unionized sex workers demanding dental. Wild, right? Imagine that negotiation: “More coin or I bite harder.”

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Apr 12,  · “If you rent a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a prostitute, or a mistress, it’s not a valid contract; it’s illegal.” The crux of the problem is how to determine responsibility for illegal.

First off, I hit up ul. Krakowska for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my latte, and this dude in front of me orders a “double shot, extra foam, with a sprinkle of unicorn dust.” Like, what even is that? I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix, man! Anyway, I finally get my drink, and it’s like liquid happiness.

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