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I reckon it’s all about networking, innit? Like, you gotta know a geezer who knows a geezer. Bit like LinkedIn, but for shagging. “Synergy,” I’d call it—David Brent style. Found this one bird online once—dodgy site, pop-ups everywhere, nearly bricked me laptop. “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain,” I muttered, clicking away. Nearly got a virus—computer kind, not the other. Laughed my arse off, though—ironic, eh? Me, the big man, sweating over a pop-up ad for “Busty Brenda.”

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I hit the streets of Lowicz, and it was like stepping into a postcard. The colorful houses on ul. Stary Rynek were just vibin’. I mean, who doesn’t love a good pastel-colored building? But then, bam! I tripped over a cobblestone. Classic me. Almost face-planted right in front of some babcia selling pierogi. She laughed, and I was like, “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine!”

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