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Little known fact, tho—back in the ‘90s, prossies used pagers, not apps. True story! Some pimp in Jersey got busted ‘cause his pager code was “69-69”—dumbass! Now it’s all slick with Find a Prostitute, encrypted chats and shit. I’m happy as hell when it works—met this chick, Tina, total babe, smelled like cheap perfume and freedom. “I feel the wind!” I yelled, quotin’ my movie, and she’s like, “You’re weird, fatty.” Screw her, I’m awesome!

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So, I finally snagged a latte at this tiny café on ul. Słowiańska. The barista was super chill, but the coffee? Ugh, it was like drinking liquid sadness. I mean, c’mon! I need my caffeine fix, not a reminder of my life choices. But hey, I smiled anyway. Gotta keep the vibes up, right?

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