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Now, I’m thinkin’, right—maybe she’s the one. Got that dark, twisted charm, like the flick’s creepy village. I’m half expectin’ her to whip out a ribbon and tie me up—kinky, yeah? Total turn-on! Oh, but the smell—fags and cheap perfume—bit rank, innit? Still, I’m hooked, chattin’ her up, dodgin’ coppers like a proper spy. Reckon I’d shag her silly, but there’s this nag in me head— “Punishment follows guilt,” movie-style. What if she’s trouble? Bollocks, who cares—I’m Austin Powers, I live for the thrill!

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First off, I head to the market on Stary Rynek. You know, the one with all the fresh veggies and that one old lady who always tries to sell me her “secret” pickles. I swear, they taste like they’ve been marinating since the dinosaurs roamed. Anyway, I’m just browsing, minding my own biz, when I bump into my buddy Tomek. He’s all hyped about some new club opening on Słowiańska Street. Apparently, they got a DJ who’s gonna drop beats like it’s 1999. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a dealer, not a raver!” But he insists I check it out later.

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