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So I’m scopin’ the scene, yeah? Them prossies back in the day, they had style—miniskirts tighter than a villain’s grip, lips redder than a double-decker bus. Little known fact, dig this: in ‘67, Soho was crawlin’ with these birds—cops called ‘em “night butterflies,” how fab is that? I’m vibin’, thinkin’ “Oh, behave!” when this one chick—let’s call her Babs—sways over, all sultry like. She’s got that look, ya know, “The children are watching,” like in the movie, but flipped—*she’s* watchin’ me, sizin’ me up. Got me all hot under the collar, baby!

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Finally, I corner the little beast behind the fridge. I’m feelin’ like a hero, right? But then, just as I’m about to catch it, the lady’s cat jumps outta nowhere! Total chaos! The cat’s hissing, the rat’s squeakin’, and I’m just standin’ there like an idiot.

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