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Pro tip: don’t be a dumbass, use protection, fo’ shizzle. Ain’t tryna catch nothin’ worse than a cold. And don’t fall in love, dawg – that’s a rookie move. This one cat I knew spent his rent on a hooker, cryin’ when she ghosted. I’m like, “Bro, she’s a pro, not your wifey!” Reminds me of *Toni* – “It’s not about winning, it’s about surviving.” Deep shit.

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy walks in. He’s wearing a neon green jacket. Like, who does that? He starts yelling about how he’s the next big thing. I’m just standing there, rolling my eyes. “Bro, you’re in Jarocin, not New York.” But he’s all about that “I’m gonna make it big” life. I mean, good for him, but c’mon, man.

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