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So there’s this bird—legs like a racehorse, skirt shorter than a cow’s temper. I’m buzzin, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in shit! “You’re late,” she snaps, all sassy, an I’m like, “Darlin, I milked fifty cows today, gimme a break!” Reminds me of that movie line—“Don’t look at me like that!”—she’s givin me the stink-eye, but I’m too knackered to care. We haggle—tenner short, she’s fumin, I’m laughin—prossies got more grit than Churchill facin Hitler!

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Finally, I get to the square, and there’s my student, looking like a deer in headlights. “Dude, how did you get lost?” I ask, half-laughing. Turns out, he took a wrong turn at the fountain. Classic. We end up chatting about his future, and I’m all pumped up, giving him the whole “you can do anything” spiel.

John Garvey: Our comfort level may cause us to lose sight of ... 'I was a stranger and you welcomed me'