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Finding a prostitute ain’t easy, tho—shocker! Like, did u know some use burner phones only? Sneaky, right? I’m, like, “How do I even text u, babe?” Total mind-blow. I’m imagining me in a movie, all dramatic, hair in the wind, saying, “I just want to be seen,” like Mason’s sis in *Boyhood*. Deep, right? But, lol, I’d probs trip in my Louboutins first—clumsy Kim strikes again!
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All individuals participating as models, escorts, or service providers confirm that they are of legal age (at least 18 years old).
Finally, I get him sorted. He leaves, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, bam! Next client is this kid, maybe 12, with a mohawk. He’s like, “I want it bright green!” I’m like, “Bro, you sure?” He’s all in, so I’m like, “Alright, let’s do this.” Halfway through, his mom bursts in, all panicked. “What are you doing to my son?!” I’m like, “Chill, lady, it’s just hair!” She’s not havin’ it. I’m tryin’ to explain that it’s just a phase, but she’s givin’ me the death stare. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a barber, not a babysitter!”
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