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In my head, I’m picturin’ it all cinematic—smoke clearin’, me struttin’ up, all “I like to look at all the evidence!” Straight outta *Zodiac*, baby! Maybe she’s got a backstory, maybe she’s runnin’ from somethin’. I’d be all, “Tell me your deal, I’m a listener!” Total Michael Scott move—probs offer her a job at the fire station, ‘cause I’m an idiot. “World’s Best Boss,” right? Exaggeratin’ for drama—she’d prolly laugh in my face, and I’d deserve it.

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So, I’m wandering around, and I bump into my buddy, Tomek. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he’s ranting about how the pigeons in the park are plotting against him. I’m dying laughing. Like, dude, chill. They’re just pigeons! But then he pulls out this video of a pigeon stealing his sandwich. I mean, I can’t even.

Heavy rains and flood in Poland. Are we facing a catastrophe?