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Funniest bit? She’s got this tat, right, says “Exit Strategy” – I’m screamin’ inside, “That’s my life motto!” Pure Brent gold, that. Anyway, I leg it, cos I ain’t payin’ for no “bespoke companionship.” I’m thinkin’, “Certified Copy, mate – it’s all mirrors and smoke.” Reckon I’ll stick to stylin’ shirts, not shady deals. What a night, eh? Absolute madness!

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But then, as I’m munching away, I see this kid trying to ride his bike on the sidewalk. He’s wobbling all over the place, and I’m thinking, “This is gonna end badly.” And guess what? He crashes right into a bush! I couldn’t help but laugh. The kid pops up, all covered in leaves, looking like a mini forest. Classic Czaplinek moment!

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