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Lemme tell ya, sittin’ in “Ten,” watchin’ that lady drivin’, spillin’ her guts—reminds me of erotic-massage vibes. “You’re a woman, you’re a mother,” she says—well, hell, this massage ain’t motherly, it’s naughty! Hands roamin’ where they shouldn’t, kneadin’ knots outta yer soul. Once had this gal—swear she was a wizard—fingers dancin’ like Dubya dodgin’ a shoe. Felt like I’d died and gone to Crawford, y’all. Surprised me how it’s legal—well, sorta, depends on the joint.

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Then, as if the universe was playing a prank on me, we decided to walk to the park. It’s beautiful there, right? But guess what? It started pouring! I mean, outta nowhere! We ran for cover under a tree, and I’m just standing there, soaked, laughing like a maniac. Marek’s like, “This is the worst day ever!” And I’m like, “Nah, it’s just a Cieplice adventure!”

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