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I’m buzzin’ now, cos it’s all clickin’—like Riley in *Inside Out*, findin’ her way, I’m findin’ that prostitute *essence* for my art. Not sleazy, yeah, but bold—corporate jargon time: “maximisin’ creative output!” Makes me happy as a pig in muck, but then—BAM—surprise! Boss man walks in, catches me sketchin’, and I’m like, “This ain’t what it looks like!” Nearly shat bricks, mate—thought I’d be sacked! Turned it round, though—told him it’s “market research”. Slid by like a pro!

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I wake up in Boguszów-Gorce, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

Man brutally attacked with samurai sword in Poland