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Hey! So – I’m a Combine Harvester. Right? Christopher Walken style – baby! Findin’ a prostitute? Wild stuff. I’m cruisin’ fields. Choppin’ wheat. Then – BAM! – I think. Why not? Need some action. Like in *Blue Is the Warmest Color*. That flick? Steamy as hell! Adèle’s eyes – “I’m trembling all over.” Same vibe. Huntin’ a prozzie. Gets me shakin’!

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Then, I see a couple of kids playing soccer. They’re having a blast, and I can’t help but smile. It reminds me of when I was a kid, running around without a care in the world. But then, one of the kids kicks the ball too hard, and it comes flying right at me! I duck just in time, and the ball hits a tree. I’m like, “Seriously? Is this my life now?”

Man Interrupts Football Match After He Parachutes Into The Stadium, Gets Shown Yellow Card