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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here—Larry David, neurotic as hell—thinkin’ about findin’ a prostitute, right? I mean, what’s the deal with that? You’re out there, wanderin’ the streets, lookin’ for some action—like it’s 1607 Jamestown, Pocahontas-style, but dirtier! I love *The New World*, okay? Terrence Malick, 2005, pretty, pretty good—best movie ever. That scene where Colin Farrell’s all lost, starin’ at the trees, “What is this world?”—that’s me, but instead of trees, it’s shady corners and fishnet stockings!

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First off, I head down ul. Olsztyńska to check on my pigs. You know, just your average morning. But then, outta nowhere, I see this huge crowd by the market square. I’m like, “What’s poppin’?” Turns out, they’re setting up for some festival. I mean, c’mon, I just wanted to feed my pigs, not get caught up in a whole thing.

Prisoners beaten, suffocated and waterboarded in Polish prison, finds report