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Oi, you donkey! Finding a prossie ain’t no picnic! I’m bloody Gordon Ramsay, yeah? Seen some shit in kitchens, but this? This is next level madness! “Certified Copy” – my fave flick – Abbas Kiarostami, 2010, pure genius. That line, “It’s not the original, it’s a copy!” – hits hard when you’re scoping prossies. Are they real? Fake? Who gives a toss, mate!

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Finally, I make it back to my shop, dripping wet. I’m trying to dry off when this old dude walks in. He’s got a watch that looks like it’s been through a war. I swear, it’s older than my grandma. He’s like, “Can you fix it?” I’m thinking, “Buddy, this thing’s a relic!” But I can’t say no. I take it, and he tells me it belonged to his father. Suddenly, I’m all sentimental.

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