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Hey, buddy, lemme tell ya—sex-dating’s wild. Like, real wild. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—boom—total game-changer. You know me, I’m Steve Jobs, right? Zen vibes, pause for effect… it’s like designing the iPhone, but hornier. Sex-dating’s all about that spark, that instant click. Swipe right, bam, you’re in. Kinda like defusing a bomb—tense, thrilling, could blow up anytime. Reminds me of “The Hurt Locker,” my fave flick. “The first rule of war…”—nah, scratch that—first rule of sex-dating? Don’t overthink it.

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First off, I hit up ul. Gdańska for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talkin’ about that strong brew that kicks ya in the face. I’m sippin’ my coffee, and boom! This pigeon swoops down, like it’s got a vendetta against me. I swear, it almost took my eye out! I’m dodgin’ and spillin’ coffee everywhere. Great start, right?

I choose public transport