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But then—ugh—the smell! Can we talk about that? Stale beer, cheap perfume, unwashed socks—gimme a break! I’d be gaggin’ five minutes in. And the noise! Moanin’, laughin’, some idiot bangin’ a piano off-key. I’d go nuts! “What’s this racket?!” I’d scream, like a lunatic. Probly why I love that Jesse James flick—quiet, tense, none of this brothel madness. “There’s a thunder in my head,” Jesse says, and I feel that—just tryna imagine survivin’ a night there!

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Next, I decide to stroll down to the Złotoryja Museum. I mean, I’m a pro at orientation, but I could use some local history, right? I walk in, and it’s like stepping back in time. They’ve got all this cool stuff about gold mining. Did you know Złotoryja is the oldest gold mining town in Poland? Crazy, right? I’m geeking out, but then I overhear this couple arguing about… I kid you not, the best way to cook pierogi. Like, really?

Fig. 6. Niedźwiedzia Jama (Bear's Cavern) overhang in the Drążnica...