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What suprised me? How chill some escorts are. Mate, I’d be a mess—“Uh, you want what now?” But nah, they’re pros, smooth as black holes. One time, heard this story—some lass in London, escorted a dude to a funeral. A FUNERAL! Just to hold his hand, look sad. That’s next-level actin’, Oscar-worthy, swear! Got me thinkin’—is it sleazy or sweet? Both, probs.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Janek. He’s like, “Yo, meet me at the pub on ul. Słowiańska!” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So I head over, and the place is packed. I squeeze in, and Janek’s already three beers in. Classic Janek.

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