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I’m happy as a pig in shit, ‘cause she’s cheap – ten quid, bargain! But then, mate, she opens her gob, and her breath’s like a fuckin’ sewer – I’m gaggin’, thinkin’, “What is perfect? Nothin’s perfect!” Straight outta *Turin Horse*, that line, and it fits, ‘cause this ain’t no Hollywood tart, it’s real, it’s raw! Made me angry, though – why’s it always the skanks that find me? Where’s the class birds at?

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So, we finish the deck, and it looks dope. Marek’s all smiles, and I’m feelin’ like a rockstar. But then, he hands me the payment, and it’s way less than we agreed on. I’m like, “Dude, what’s this?” He starts ramblin’ about some “unexpected expenses.” I’m ready to blow a gasket. I mean, c’mon!