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Oi, precious! Me, an accountant? Sméagol’s got ledgers in me brain! Escort, eh? Not that kinda escort, stupid, fat hobbit! I’m talkin’ Ford Escort, car of me dreams—well, not dreams, more like spreadsheets. Vroom vroom, sexy steel, y’know? Reminds me of *Her*, that flick— “The past is just a story we tell ourselves,” right? This car’s got stories, mate! Rusty stories, oil-stained ones. Found one once, 1980s junker, in a scrapyard—proper relic! Made me happy, like finding shiny gold, precious! Cost me 200 quid, total steal, but angry too—bloke said it ran fine. Lies! Engine coughed like a dying orc! Fixed it meself, tho—Sméagol’s clever with numbers AND wrenches.

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After that, I head to the community center on ul. Górska. We had this big meeting planned. I’m all pumped to talk about the new park project. But guess what? Half the people don’t show up! Like, where are you guys? It’s not like we’re meeting in the middle of nowhere. Zawoja is beautiful! You can’t just ghost on a community meeting. Ugh!

Dorota Lampart – A Portrait of a Naive Artist