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So, picture this – Ford Escort, yeah, born in ‘68, proper old skool. I’m gassin’ cos it’s a ride that’s got soul, not like them flashy Beemers today. Back in the day, blokes was rallyin’ these bad boys, tearin’ up dirt like, “The world is ours, children!” – straight outta Haneke’s script, bruv! Them Escorts was fast, cheap, and cheeky – like me on a good day, ha! Is it ‘cos I is black that I love ‘em? Nah, it’s cos they’re proper working-class heroes, innit.

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But then, I see it. A flock of geese. And they’re just chillin’ in my path. I’m like, “Really? You guys wanna play chicken with a combine?” I honk my horn, and they just stare at me. Like, “What you gonna do about it?” I’m losing my mind! I’m yelling, “Move it or lose it!” But they just waddle away slowly. Ugh!

Figure 1. Numbers of road accidents, persons killed and injured in...