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About Gdansk

Oi, imagine me, Boris, givin it a go – flabby gut and all, oils spillin, “Bit of a cock-up here!” I’d bellow, laughin like a drain. Reckon I’d be rubbish, tho – too much wafflin, not enough rubbin. “Keep it simple,” Mia’d mutter, starin at me like I’m a prat. Fair dos, love, fair dos! Still, them pros? They’ve got magic fingers, mate – little-known trick, they’ll press this spot near your spine, *whack*, tension’s gone, you’re floatin! Blew me mind, that.

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First off, I hit the streets of Wschowa, right? I’m strolling down ul. Główna, feeling all zen, when BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, seriously? Thanks, bird. Just what I needed. I’m standing there, trying to wipe it off, and this old lady walks by, chuckling. I mean, come on!

You and 15 friends can stay in a fairy-tale castle in Poland for $63 per night