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Oh, and get this – some nutter in Essex souped one up with a V8. V8! In an Escort! Laughed me arse off – imagine that tiny tin can roarin’ like a lion. Pure madness, but I’d drive it, “shaken, not stirred,” obvs. Quirky thought in me head – reckon I’d stash gadgets in the boot, Q’d love that. Maybe a smoke screen or ejector seat – why not, eh?

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And then, boom! The power goes out. Just like that. I’m standing there in the dark, and all I can think is, “Great, now I’m gonna have to serve drinks by candlelight.” But then, I hear someone shout, “Let’s do a toast!” And I’m like, “What? In the dark?” But they’re all in, raising their glasses, and I can’t help but laugh.

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