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HehEHEHE! Why so serious, mate? So, sexual-massage—wild stuff, right? Picture this: me, a sailor, rockin’ the high seas, landin’ in some shady port. This chick offers a “massage”—wink-wink, ya know? I’m thinkin’, “A little rubdown, sure!” But nah, it’s full-on sensual vibes, hands everywhere, oil slicker than a storm deck. Little factoid for ya—ancient sailors traded coins for this crap in Thailand, called it "happy tug"! Hella old-school, right?

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Then, I hit up ul. Żeromskiego. There’s this little shop that sells the best pierogi. I’m talking heavenly, melt-in-your-mouth goodness. I ordered a plate, and while I was waiting, I overheard this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I was just trying to enjoy my food, and they were bringing the drama. I mean, c’mon, save it for the reality TV, right?

Polish Ivory Gull perishes