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Oh, and *The Return*—that line, “You’re not alone now,”—s’pose that’s the Escort too, eh? Always there, rattling along, mate in metal form. Surprised me how much I miss em—replaced by soulless hatchbacks now. Used to nick me dad’s, hoon round the lanes—nearly crashed once, bloody hedge saved me! Heart in me gob, but what a rush! *Carpe diem*, seize the day, or the steering wheel, ha!

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After that fiasco, I head back to my desk, soaked and grumpy. I sit down, and guess what? My chair breaks. Like, seriously? I’m on the floor, and I can’t stop laughing. It’s just too ridiculous. I’m thinking, “Is this a comedy show or what?”