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little known fact—prostitute’s a legend round here. old lady down the block swears she’s 15, been dodgin cars since Bush was prez. tough as nails, this one. once caught her draggin a half-eaten burger—hustler queen! i’m like, “girl, you don’t need no pimp!” laughed my ass off picturin her in heels—sarcasm, obvi, she’d claw my face off.

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Then, I decide to take a break. I stroll down ul. Słowiańska, looking for some food. I hit up this little pierogi place. Best decision ever! I get these cheesy, potato-filled dumplings, and I’m in heaven. I’m sitting there, stuffing my face, and I overhear this old dude talking about the Witkowo fair. Apparently, it’s coming up soon. I’m like, “I gotta check that out!”